


Alone with You

by Erandri



Series: 365 Days of McDanno [8]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Drunk Sex, Edited since Original Posting, First Kiss, First Time, M/M, Misunderstandings, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Steve Is Bad At Feelings, they just need to talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2019-02-22 21:16:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13175361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erandri/pseuds/Erandri
Summary: It takes years for Steve to finally get the courage to cross the last line between friendship and something more. Danny just wishes that they had been sober when they did it.





	Alone with You

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the song Alone With You by Jake Owen, it came on the radio as I was waking up and my subconscious ran with it.

It happens on a Friday night, after a case that had them running ragged chasing leads all over this island when Steve leans over and kisses him. They’ve been drinking and Danny’s had a lot but not as much as Steve and he’s wondering if maybe Steve’s had even more than he thought. Steve breaks the kiss and looks at him, looking for something, but Danny’s so in shock at he can’t think which is his excuse why he lets Steve lean in and kiss him again. This time it’s more demanding, and when Steve parts his lips Danny can taste the alcohol on his tongue.

Danny’s drunk, but not drunk enough that he doesn’t know he should put a stop to this. But Steve is pressing against him, guiding him so that they’re lying down on the couch together and working a hand underneath his t-shirt. Steve kisses him again and he knows that this can’t happen, not like this, but the alcohol is making his thoughts fuzzy so when Steve thrusts down against him he greedily reciprocates, setting a fast pace that leaves no room for any thought except getting his hands and mouth on Steve’s skin.

—

They don’t talk about it. Hell, he’s not even sure that Steve remembers it, which is a thought that hurts more than it should. He should be relieved, just shove the thoughts away until he can pretend that they never happened, that they were just another dream of something that he can’t have.

That works for all of a week when the team finds themselves at Steve’s, celebrating the closure of a high-profile money laundering case. Chin, Kono, and Lou have all left, leaving him and Steve to pick up the lanai. He can see a bit of a wobble in Steve’s step as they pass in the kitchen but doesn’t think anything of it as he starts rinsing out the empty beer bottles. He’s so focused on his task that he doesn’t hear Steve come back in until he sets the last two bottles on the counter next to him and then presses himself against Danny’s back, sliding his hands onto his hips and leaning in so that he can speak right into Danny’s ear.

“Come upstairs,” Steve whispers and Danny feels like his entire body is about to burst. He can’t speak his heart is pounding so hard so in the end he doesn’t, just shakily nods his head and lets Steve lead him to the bedroom.

—

It becomes a thing. Danny goes over to Steve’s house, they have just enough beers for some deniability, and then they head up to Steve’s bedroom. In the morning Steve will be out swimming when Danny wakes up so Danny gets dressed and leaves and they don’t mention it.

It’s becoming a routine and it’s killing Danny because it’s not real. For years he pined over Steve, harbored a crush that he never expected to go anywhere, but now he knows what Steve tastes like and it’s worse than never being with him at all because it doesn’t  _mean_  anything. That doesn’t stop him from doing it again, and again, until he starts to hate himself a little more each time he wakes alone.

So when Steve asks him to come over the next Friday he wants to say no, he knows what Steve’s really asking but even his self-loathing isn’t enough to stop him from saying “Okay”.

—

He should turn back, make up some excuse about having to take the kids, something that will get him out of going over to Steve’s. He should, but he knows that he won’t. He want’s this too much, and he hate’s himself for how much he wants it, but he still walks into Steve’s house without knocking. Still takes Steve’s offered beer without a second thought and plants himself on the couch next to Steve.

They make some small talk, but mostly they watch the game on tv, and Danny sits there waiting for when Steve’s going to make his move. It happens in the third quarter, Steve looks at him and says his name and Danny knows.

He lets Steve push him back onto the couch, kisses back greedily when Steve’s mouth finally finds his, and tries not to think about how empty he’ll feel in the morning. Except he can feel Steve smiling and he breaks.

“Stop, stop,” he says, pushing Steve off of him and sliding off of the couch, “I can’t do this.”

“Danny?” Steve asks, and he looks so confused that Danny wants to go over and kiss him, but then he remembers that empty feeling he gets after every time they do this and it stops him dead in his tracks.

“I can’t do this,” he says again, more determined as he starts to buttoning his shirt again.

“Hold on Danny,” Steve protests, sitting up on the couch and looking much more sober.

“No, Steve. I can’t do this anymore. Okay? This  _thing_  that we’re doing is so dysfunctional and if I don’t end it now I know I never will. So I’m gonna leave.”

“What are you talking about-” Steve asks, standing up, but Danny cuts him off before he can try and change his mind again.

“This thing where we get drunk and hook up and then never acknowledge it! It’s killing me to keep doing this with you, Steve,” Danny admits, and then he does something even more stupid that hooking up with his best friend, he tells him the truth, “I’m in love with you Steve. Can’t you see that?” Steve apparently doesn’t have anything to say to that, so Danny walks out the door without another word.

—

It’s just after noon the next day when his doorbell rings. He knows exactly who it is before he answers and sure enough, he opens the door to see Steve standing determinedly on his front stoop. Before Danny can say anything Steve hold up a hand to silence him and holds up a breathalyzer unit. Danny watches, confused, as Steve breathes into the breathalyzer until it beeps and shows him the zero reading.

“Steve-”

“I have thought about kissing you every minute, of every day, since I met you. I wonder what it would be like to live with you, and I dream about being able to wake up next to you. I want to go to parent-teacher nights for the kids, and teach Grace to drive, and help Charlie with his homework, and I want to cook meals with you in  _our_  home. I want it all Danny, but I didn’t think that you did, so I got drunk and kissed you, and I kept doing it. I’m sorry that the only way I thought that I could have you hurt you so much but this is me, stone cold sober, telling you exactly how I feel.”

“Come here, you goof,” Danny says, pulling Steve into his house by his shirt collar and kissing him. Steve wraps his arms around him, breaking the kiss to whisper, “I love you, too,” and Danny smiles.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on [Tumblr](http://erandri.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
